


It's Supposed To Hurt, It's A Broken Heart

by melroihag



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne x Ann Reunion, Blood and Injury, F/F, F/M, Finally!, Fluff, Set After 1x07, What I Want To Have Happen, spoiler warning, trigger warning, what I wish had happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19091065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melroihag/pseuds/melroihag
Summary: Elizabeth paced back and forth in front of the guest bedroom, worry etched into her features as the horror that took place some hours ago now, replayed in her mind for the hundredth time. Opening the door. Red. Ann. Red. Shock. Red. Blood. A lot of it. Dripping. On Ann’s dress, her hands, arms, chin. She winced at the memory of the way Ann’s eyes had rolled back into the back of her head and she’d collapsed.





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> This'll be a two-parter and is my first fic for this series. Set after Gentleman Jack 1x07, this is what I would want to happen next.

Pulling into Canterbury and outside of the Inn which Anne, her man and her maid were booked into for the night, the carriage hadn't even fully come to a halt when Miss Lister flung the door open and stumbled out, just managing to catch her fall before hitting the ground. Thoughts of Miss Walker hadn’t left her mind since she’d allowed herself just one when looking in the mirror which stood erect in the bedroom she’d occupied in London.

She’d made a promise to Miss Walker not to write each other, which was painful in and of itself, choosing to keep herself distracted in order to avoid the ache in her heart whenever she thought of the younger woman for too long. But Anne had once again underestimated Miss Walker and the emotions she brought out of Anne with ease. Behind the strong facade she portrayed, Anne Lister felt feelings deeply. Too deeply, in the case of Miss Walker. Much more than she had any inkling of.

Once one thought of Ann passed through her thoughts, it were as if the floodgates opened and she could think of nothing else. The drive from London to Canterbury, although short in length compared to her other journey’s, in some ways felt twice as long. Agony causing her chest to ache heavily, her breathing becoming more and more difficult with every flicker of Miss Walker entering her mind’s eye.

Anne walked up to the desk to check-in, unable to feign enthusiasm even for the attractive looking young woman manning the desk. Retreating to her room, key in hand, barely shooting a glance in Eugenie or Thomas’ way, not bothering to wait for either of them as she made her way up the stairs.

Once alone, she gasped for breath, eyes stinging with the sudden threat of tears she furiously blinked back. Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed her journal, sat down on the plush bed and began to write.

Tomorrow they left for Dover early and would be on their way to Paris, the thought both comforting and unsettling something inside of her.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth paced back and forth in front of the guest bedroom, worry etched into her features as the horror that took place some hours ago now, replayed in her mind for the hundredth time. Opening the door. Red. Ann. Red. Shock. Red. Blood. A lot of it. Dripping. On Ann’s dress, her hands, arms, chin. She winced at the memory of the way Ann’s eyes had rolled back into the back of her head and she’d collapsed.

In a panic she’d called for George, her husband. His mother who’d been visiting had taken the children and new baby to the other side of the house, after Elizabeth refused to leave Ann’s side, even for her children. In that moment, her motherly instinct’s what caused her to stand her ground against her husband’s wishes for her to go with the children and his mother. Knowing full well that her little ones would be alright with her mother-in-law, she knew that her sister needed her now more than ever. And yet despite her refusal to leave Ann’s side, George had ushered her outside the room and into the hallway, assuring her that the Doctor he’d called would do his very best and that he would inform her of any progress.

So here she was, on the landing wearing a hole into the floor with her constant back and forth, thoughts racing with endless possibilities, both good and bad. The bad ones causing her heart to trip and race faster. Everything had passed in a blur after she’d entered the room and Ann collapsed. The memory of her trying to pick Ann up off the floor, of Captain Sutherland rushing through the door and bellowing downstairs for someone to call the doctor. Tears welled in her eyes once more as she stifled a sob with her hand.

She took a deep breath and leant against the bannister, closing her eyes as she wondered a thousand things at once. Had this been an accident? Ann had seemed fine, she’d said so herself. Surely this couldn’t have been intentional… right?

The door opened and George appeared beside her with something in his hands. Turning to him with baited breath, Elizabeth couldn’t help but fear the worst.  
  
“The Doctor says she’s lost a lot of blood.” he spoke hushedly.  
Unable to form words, Elizabeth bit down on the inside of her cheek as a traitorous tear slipped down her cheek. George brushed it away in a rare moment of tenderness.  
“She’s resting. He’s dressed her wounds and such, but…” he paused, taking a deep breath and looking down.  
“What?” she asked after a moment’s hesitation.  
“Perhaps we _should_ … consider…” Captain Sutherland tried to find the right words for a delicate situation such as this.  
“Consider what?” Elizabeth asked, deep down she already knew what he was going to say, she’d heard aunts and uncles, and cousins whispering about it before over the years. A grim feeling settled low in her stomach and the glint that shone in her eyes almost dared her husband to speak the words aloud.  
Captain Sutherland had never seen the look in his wife’s eyes before, it almost made him second-guess suggesting such a thing. Almost.  
“Perhaps we should see about how some time in an institution might do her?” he proposed the idea in a whisper.  
Elizabeth found herself unable to breathe, let alone speak. The mere thought of sending her little sister, who’d suffered enough for lifetime already, to an - she couldn’t even think it, no she daren’t even entertain the idea.

Her husband took her elongated silence as consideration, rather than blatant shock and dismissal, and instead handed her Ann’s sketchbook.  
“She’s quite a talented little thing, isn’t she?” he mused, opening to the first page and tilting it in his wife’s direction for her to see the creation on the page.  
“Yes.” she choked out, snatching the book from his hands and not-so-subtly closing it.  
“Right, well then…” Captain Sutherland took a step back and offered her a sympathetic smile before entering the guest room again, closing the door behind himself.

Elizabeth slowly pried the pages open of the sketchbook, trailing her fingers over the masterful work her sister had immortalised on the pieces of parchment inside. Each drawing so uniquely brilliant, but one in particularly caught her eye. One that held so much more detail than the rest. One that she could still see the small dents in the parchment made from the pencil, a lot of work had been put into this one.

 _‘Miss Lister’_ Elizabeth thought, the name easing the tightness in her chest and weight from her shoulders substantially as her eyes raked over the drawing. She found herself inhaling and exhaling lungfuls at a time, for the first time since the horror that had happened earlier that afternoon.

There was no name next to the drawing, nothing to indicate it was definitely this _‘Miss Lister'_ , but she had remembered her husband describing a similar looking woman to the drawing in her hands.

A woman of peculiar dress sense and with an unusual air about her, her mother-in-law had chimed in, but Elizabeth had zoned out by that point. She didn’t really care what the elderly woman had to say on that matter, or any to be exact. She’d never really likened to the woman after all these years anyway.

Her sister’s words rang in her ear then, _“You’re scared of him, aren’t you?”_ causing a swirl of guilt to unsettle her stomach.  
Elizabeth’s mind raced with what could’ve caused Ann to do this, if it were intentional, and all she could think of was the word she’d had with her about Captain Sutherland’s cousin, Sir Alexander Mackenzie and how it would be beneficial for all if Ann could be civil at dinner when he arrives.  
A nauseating feeling overtook her at the thought of in some way contributing to Ann’s accident.  
Ann had made it very clear that if the dinner were a ruse in order for her to meet Alexander with the hopes of a proposal in the near-future, than the intention would be wasteful, as she would not accept him by any means.

Even with the knowledge that Ann’s wounds were wrapped and would heal in time, the uncertainty of Ann being able to stay here in her house for much longer, what with the suggestion of an institution being introduced by her husband, Elizabeth knew she had to act fast.

The mere thought of having to send her little sister to such a place kicked her motherly instinct into high-gear. She remembered Captain Sutherland informing her, upon his return from Crow Nest with her sister in tow, of how Miss Lister had suggested their cousin Miss Rawson downplay Ann’s mental state in the hopes of being able to treat Ann without the use of an institution getting involved. She’d also heard from their aunt, Mrs Priestly of how _Miss Lister_ had, in her words, _“whisked Ann away”_ to York without telling any of them, and had her seen by a friend of hers, a doctor that specialises in those that also suffer with Ann’s _nervous condition_.

Elizabeth hadn’t been alarmed by hearing about this _‘Miss Lister’_ , in fact she admired her and wanted to thank her for being the only other person with Ann’s physical, mental and emotional wellbeing in mind. Elizabeth herself knew how toxic her relations could be sometimes, it was a major factor in her accepting Captain Sutherland’s proposal in the first place, so she could get away from them all. Her only regret was leaving Ann to deal with them all, especially after the tragedies of their parents and brother.

Not one to usually defy her husband, her instincts kicked in and she hurried to Captain Sutherland’s study. Without thinking twice, she picked up his pen and with a shaking hand, dipped it into the inkwell and drew in a deep and steadying breath. Putting pen to parchment, she began writing, pleading, for help from the one person she thought would be able to help fix what’s been broken in her sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Side note: I listened to the new track 'What If I Never Get Over You' by Lady Antebellum which helped me keep my racing thoughts and ideas on track if you wanted to check it out.)


	2. The Letter from Scotland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne gets word to return to Shibden just as she's about to board the ship to France.

A letter addressed to ‘Miss Lister’ arrived and Marian was mid-bite of toast when Mrs. Cordingley shuffled into the room after a hurried rap on the door. The awkward silence of the dining room was broken from the maid tripping over her own feet to get into the room.

“Ma’am, there’s been a letter.” Mrs. Cordingley’s gaze flickered between both Marian Lister and Aunt Anne.  
“From whom?” Marian asked as she held her hand out, anticipating the letter being given to her.  
“Sorry, Ma’am… but before Miss Lister left for her travels, she gave me strict instruction to refer all mail regarding Miss Walker to your Aunt. She mentioned having spoken with her before having departed?” Mrs. Cordingley stuttered apologetically.

All eyes landed on Aunt Anne, causing the older woman to clear her throat, dab her mouth with the napkin in front of her and gesture for the letter to be handed to her. Meanwhile, the mere mention of her sister had Marian rolling her eyes. Of course Anne would make her feel inadequate, even when away from Shibden.

After thanking and dismissing Mrs. Cordingley, there was a long bout of silence as Aunt Anne read the letter in her hands. Concern growing ever more present on her face as she read of a mention of an accident with Miss Walker.

Knowing her niece was still fond of young Miss Walker, and having been asked to update Anne during her travels of anything to do with the young woman, Aunt Anne sat back in her chair and sighed, rubbing her tired eyes with her free hand.

“What?” Marian asked, “What is it?” she grew impatient the more the silence stretched on. At first, due to eagerness of what the letter had to say, until she noticed the shock on her Aunt’s face.  
Aunt Anne ignored Marian’s plea and instead took a deep breath. She’d seen the utter heartbreak on her niece’s face the last time they spoke of Miss Walker, and the last thing she wanted to do was upset Anne. But she knew that if she didn’t inform her niece and something terrible were to happen, Anne would blame herself profusely.

“We need to call Anne back home.” she said solemnly.  
“What? Why? What’s the matter?” Marian asked in a panic.  
The sound of her chair scuffing against the floor as she stood up to round the table and reach her aunt’s side, made an awful grinding sound, causing Captain Lister to wince and shake his head at his youngest daughter.  
“It’s Miss Walker.” Aunt Anne said, slowly shaking her head at a loss for words.  
“Yes?” Marian huffed indignantly, “What about her?”  
“Before Anne left, she made me promise to write to Miss Walker’s aunt in Lightcliffe, so I could report to her on Miss Walker’s health.” Aunt Ann explained, more so for Captain Lister’s sake.  
“Ah.” he nodded in understanding, waiting for his sister to elaborate.  
“Well, it seems I no longer have to write her Aunt, as her sister in Scotland wrote wishing to get in contact with Anne.” she described the outline of the letter to him.

Marian gently took the letter from Aunt Anne’s grasp and read it hastily.  
Sensing the severity of the letter, Marian knew she had to get word to her sister and fast.

Gathering her skirts, she bolted up the stairs to her sister’s study and scribbled the request to Anne to return home. Under the pretence of Aunt Anne’s health taking a turn for the worse. She knew her sister and knew that as fond as she were of Miss Walker, the only way to be certain that Anne would return to Shibden, would be if her sister thought that their Aunt’s health were having serious complications.

Dashing back down the stairs, she sent young Joseph Booth off into Halifax to send the letter. All the while pacing back and forth as she worried over whether word would reach her sister in time, before she crossed the water into Paris.

They’d received word from Anne only the morning prior, informing them of her change of travel plans that stated a brief version of the events that took place in London with her friend Mrs Lawton, which had contributed to her earlier-than-planned departure to France, leaving Marian confused and wondering how her sister was feeling. After all, no one liked having conflict with their friend, especially those so close as Anne and Mrs Lawton.

Feeling only slightly guilty at having told a lie to Anne in the letter, Marian went back into the dining room to notify her Father and Aunt of what she’d written, why she’d fibbed and instead of getting a scolding, she was praised for her quick thinking, bringing a rare smile to her face. Anne wasn’t the only clever Lister, she thought to herself as she sat back in her chair and the wait began.

 

* * *

Anne Lister stood at the dock in Dover, hands on her hips as she watched the ship gradually fade into the distance.

Taking a deep steadying breath, she closed her eyes, grimacing as her thoughts spiralled uncontrollably. At war with herself for not getting on the vessel, she couldn’t help the feeling in her gut that something was wrong, in regards to Miss Walker. The feeling that had started in London, followed her to Canterbury and was still very much present this cold morn.

Ignoring the stares of her maid and groom behind her, Anne focussed on the vast expanse of water. Her usually racing mind, reeling itself in to one subject. She’d always trusted her instincts and knew that this feeling over Miss Walker must have some weight to it. Instinctually, it has to. Unable to find a rational excuse for such a strong feeling, Anne knew it wasn’t just paranoia.

A loud skidding sounded from behind her, drawing her attention as she heard her name being yelled.

“Miss Lister!” a young man shouted, waving what looked to be a letter in his hand above his head as he staggered over breathlessly.  
“Miss Lister!” he exclaimed again before tripping to a halt in front of her.  
Anne eyed the young man hunched over in front of her, gasping for breath before thrusting his hand out toward her.  
“Th-there’s been word. Urgent. You-” he choked out between ragged breaths.

The word _urgent_ stood out and immediately grasped her attention. Unapologetically, she snatched the letter from his hands and ripped it open, uncaring of the paper cut she’d just given herself.  
As her eyes scanned the piece of parchment, her feet began moving of their own accord. She was beside the carriage before her brain had even caught up with her. Aunt Anne. Health’s worsened. Needed back home. _NOW_.  
Ignoring her groom’s questions on whether or not she was alright, her body worked, as if, by itself as she told the driver of the carriage that they were headed back to Halifax.  
She slammed the door of the carriage shut behind her, a clear indication to her maid, Eugenie, that she’d have to travel at the back with Thomas.

Off they set and Anne read the words over and over again. She couldn’t even be upset with Marian for being quite so blunt with her wording. Something caught her eye then, and caused all breath to leave her at once. She’d been stunned into a stupor at the mention of her Aunt and her declining health that she didn’t read far down enough to see the mention of Miss Walker.

Time stopped in that moment for her, she’d swear on the bible that it did. Confirmation that there was news about Miss Walker - not in any great detail - just that the situation would be delved deeper into upon Anne’s return, was enough to corroborate the feeling in her gut that something was wrong with Miss Walker.

Struggling for breath and vision blurred, Anne found her thoughts even more haywire than ever before. The only thing she could think of to calm her down, would be her journal. She reached across the seat for it, it was never too far from her, and opened to a page at random. In an effort to slow her swirling dark thoughts, she focused solely on reading what she’d written almost two months prior to the day.

She’d written about having spent the day at Crow Nest with Miss Walker. How she’d not noticed before then just how mesmerising Ann’s eyes were. How her stomach would flutter whenever Miss Walker would flush scarlet at something complimentary she’d say toward her, and how the sound of Ann’s laugh was like listening to the most exquisite piece of music she’d ever heard.

Anne didn’t known how much time had passed by, before she realised that she’d sat and read almost all of her journal entries from the past two months, and with the one’s mentioning Miss Walker, she noticed her fingertips delicately running over the words on the page. As if trying to feel not just an imaginary tie, but an actual tangible connection to that described on the pages of her journal before her.

Glancing out the window, she closed the book and held it to her chest. Desperately telling Miss Walker - in her head - to hold on. The memory of Ann telling her that there’s ‘ ** _always reason to hope’_** , flooding her memory, causing a stray tear to fall down her cheek. She didn’t bother swiping it away, in fact she let another fall, as she allowed herself to think of Miss Walker. 

Anne didn’t know what awaited her back at Shibden, she’d obviously see to it that her Aunt’s health was in a more stable condition before departing again, but one thing was for certain, she would _walk_ to Scotland if she had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading these comments helps me write out chapters sooner.
> 
> So, as always, I'd love to know what you think?


	3. “Would you just let me explain?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally the more I write, the more chapters this becomes... I'm terribly sorry, hahaha! I'm like 84% sure that the next chapter will be the last. Maybe. I mean, we'll just have to see tbh.

Exhausted to the bone, Anne hadn’t been able to catch a wink of sleep during the journey back to Shibden. In fact, she’d driven halfway home herself, when the driver of the carriage complained of tiredness. Anne didn’t waste another moment. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t. The thought of booking them into a hotel, even for just the night, had her anxieties skyrocket as her Aunt and Miss Walker flittered into her mind’s eye. A painful reminder of why she was having to return to Halifax in the first place.

After ordering her driver to catch up on some sleep inside the carriage, Anne had hoisted herself up onto the bench and grabbed hold of the reigns. The sun had almost set by that point and the moon had been glowing in the nights sky. Eugenie had been on the verge of either passing out from exhaustion, or throwing up, Miss Lister wasn’t sure and she honestly didn’t care much either. Thomas had been his usual eager self, reminding Anne that of a new puppy, full of energy and eager to please. It annoyed her to no end.

Sparing a brief thought for the horses, Anne deemed them spritely enough to keep going and without a warning, the sound of a whip cracking echoed in the air. A small smirk played on her lips too when she’d heard Eugenie’s groan of discomfort and ignored Thomas’ onslaught questions about her world travels. The only thing she’d focused on, that kept her awake until she switched with her driver again, was that of Miss Walker… and her Aunt, of course.

 

* * *

 

The carriage pulled up outside of Shibden and Anne could hear her sister’s fretting before she’d even open the bloody door. Marian’s high-pitched voice caused the relatively minute headache she’d accumulated since they’d left the docks in Dover, to grow into an excruciating pounding in her head.

Anne winced as she exited the carriage, landing on the ground with a thud. She hunched over, resting her hands on her knees briefly and exhaled a long sigh as she took in the sensation of the stable ground beneath her boots.

“Anne.” the familiar voice of her sister barely registered through the pulsing in her head.  
Anne glanced up and offered a weak smile before straightening and patting Marian on the shoulder.  
“Right, where is she?” Anne asked, tone strictly business as she addressed Marian on the whereabouts of their aunt.  
“About that…” Marian pulled a face, one that made Anne inch the bridge of her nose.  
“You know what? I don’t have time for this.” Anne strode into the house ahead of her sister, ignoring Marian’s attempts at an explanation.

Upon walking past the kitchen, Anne nodded her greeted to Mrs. Cordingley.  
“Aunt Anne?” she asked her former maid, she’d known the woman long enough that she hand a short-hand with Mrs. Cordingley. Not always needing to using full sentences, she appreciated that the woman could - seemingly - read her mind.  
“Upstairs, Ma’am.” Mrs. Cordingley gestured upwards, offering an apologetic grimace and shrug when Marian glowered at her.  
“Anne, just wait a minute…” Marian huffed as she caught up to her sister on the staircase.

Anne turned abruptly causing Marian to bump into her and almost fall backward. If it weren’t for Anne reaching out and grabbing her arm to hold her steady, she’d have fallen all the way down.  
“Look, Marian… in your letter, you used the word ‘ _urgent’_. So forgive me if I’m trying to figure out what exactly is going on here, as I’m now under the impression that there is in fact **nothing** _urgent_ needing my attention.” Anne’s gaze narrowed ever-so-slightly as she lost all patience.  
“Would you just let me explain?” Marian asked, not phased in the slightest by her sister’s foul mood.  
“No.” Anne turned suddenly and carried on up the stairs towards her Aunt’s room.  
Marian rolled her eyes and hurried after her, shaking her head as she went.

Knocking twice and hearing a “Come in.” Anne entered her Aunt’s room and immediately rushed to her bedside.  
Greeting her Aunt with a kiss on the back of her hand, Anne clutched it carefully between both of hers.  
“How are you?” she asked, silently assessing her Aunt’s appearance. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.  
“I’m—” Aunt Anne was cut off by Marian barging into the room.  
“Would you just let me explain?” Marian repeatedly, breathlessly.  
Anne’s gaze stayed firmly on that of her Aunt.  
“Let her explain.” her aunt whispered softly, caressing Anne’s hand gently. Attempting to soothe the storm in her niece’ eyes.  
Anne took a deep breath in before glancing over at Marian, she checked her pocket-watch, taking note of the time before meeting Marian’s stare and giving her a short nod to indicate she should start talking.  
“I knew that the only way to get you to return from your travels, would be if anything had happened to Aunt.” Marian gestured to their aunt who sat silently watching Anne’s reaction like a hawk.

At the twitch of her niece’ eye, Aunt Anne stepped in to take over explaining the situation. She could feel the agitation building within Anne and wanted to prevent an outburst at all costs.  
“We received a letter.” she said lowly, patting Anne’s hand in order to get her attention.  
“Hmm.” was all the response she received from her restless-looking niece.  
“It was from Miss Walker’s sister in Scotland.” she spoke carefully, as if not wanting to startle Anne.

The mere mention of Miss Walker caused Anne’s headache to silence and her breath caught.  
“Now, you made me promise to inform you during your travels of any news about Miss Walker.” Aunt Anne reminded her niece, to which Anne herself nodded quickly, unable to utter a word as her panic grew.  
“But, I don’t think this could’ve been written in a letter.” her aunt smiled apologetically, reaching up with her free hand to brush a flyaway hair behind Anne’s ear.

Anne began fidgeting and Marian could almost hear the cogs in her sister’s head working over-time.   
“There’s been an accident, Anne. Nothing too drastic, but enough so if Miss Walker’s sister thought it wise to ask for your help.” Marian spoke softly, taking a seat on the other side of their aunt’s bedside.

Anne’s stare flickered between her aunt and sister, she blinked furiously before dropping her gaze to her lap. Aunt Anne’s grip on her hand tightened slightly, a silent reminder of her support.

Marian didn’t know how much time had passed when she finally heard her sister speak up.  
Anne cleared her throat and brought her gaze from her lap, locking eyes with Marian once more.  
“Thank you.” her voice broke as a traitorous tear slid down her face.  
Marian nodded and reached across to squeeze her sister’s forearm, much like their Aunt, she also supported Anne despite all the squabbles and skirmishes.

Clearing her throat once more and wiping the tear with her sleeve, Anne took a deep breath and nodded.  
“Firstly, when did you receive the letter and can I see it?” Anne began giving orders, an amused smirk appearing on Marian’s face as her sister kicked into business gear again.  
“The evening before last and I’ve already left it in your study. I thought you’d want to read it before departing for Scotland.” Marian replied easily.  
“You will stay for lunch though, won’t you?” Aunt Anne asked, drawing Anne’s attention to her again.  
“Aunt, you know I don’t eat lunch.” Anne scrubbed a hand over her face tiredly.  
“I do but you look like you haven’t eaten in days, Dear.” Aunt Anne caressed her cheek.

Anne’s stomach chose that exact moment to gurgle loudly, causing Marian to laugh and Aunt Anne to raise a brow disapprovingly.  
“Would you please? You know I’d only worry once you set off again.” her aunt guilted her into accepting.  
“Lunch is ready.” Mrs. Cordingley’s voice could be heard bellowing up the stairs.  
Aunt Anne winked at Marian and shuffled out of bed with her youngest niece’ help. Marian handed her Aunt off to the servant waiting outside the bedroom door. Glancing over her shoulder, she noticed Anne hadn’t moved at all.

“If I leave within the next quarter of an hour, I could be there by noon tomorrow.” Anne muttered, mostly to herself as she pocketed her watch again.  
Marian popped up beside her then, startling her just a little.  
“I already told Thomas to keep your luggage where it is and ordered him to swap the horses over. Poor creatures must be exhausted.” Marian pouted at the thought of the horses having had such a long journey already, only to set off again after only a small break.  
Anne had zoned out mostly by this point and just nodded along with her.

“Right, well it seems I’m off to Scotland.” Anne stated, her hands fidgeting in front of her.  
“Stop panicking.” Marian scolded gently, “And bring Miss Walker back with you.” she added seriously.  
Anne’s eyes widened at her sister’s bold statement, but before she could utter the question on her lips, Marian answered her.  
“You’re much more pleasant to be around after you’ve spent some time in the company of Miss Walker. There’s no need for her to be so far away up in Scotland, when we have plenty room here… and I hardly think she’d want to return to that big house of hers alone either.” Marian explained, offering a kind smile.

Sweet moments between Anne and Marian happened so few and far between that it always left one or the other speechless when one of these moments came about.

Anne couldn’t find the words to express her gratitude to Marian, without coming across as a sap. Which she was not. So instead she gave Marian a stiff embrace, short-lived though as a new found excitement entered Anne’s bones as she got up and left the room. Marian heading downstairs for lunch and Anne toward her study to retrieve the letter, before joining her family downstairs at the table.


	4. "That’s why I wrote you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a good thing I said 84% sure... because there will in fact be another after this. Anne & Ann's reunion WILL take place in the fifth and FINAL chapter. I promise.

Anne trudged up the steps to the front door of the manor, after having told her carriage driver to head into Edinburgh and make sure both himself, Thomas and Eugenie were able to book themselves into a hotel. Then to return to this exact address later in this evening to pick her up. She left the driver with some shillings to cover the cost of the hotel, and sent them on their way.

She didn’t want to draw too much attention to herself pulling up to the Captain Sutherland’s manor, as her arrival wasn’t entirely expected. Anne hadn’t bothered to write Miss Walker’s sister, Elizabeth back as she’d have made it before the letter was even halfway through the journey to Scotland in the first place.

Taking her hat off, Anne caught her reflection in the window just as she was about to knock on the front door. She took a steadying breath and licking her thumb, before fixing a few stray strands of hair that were all over the place. Ignoring the faint dark circles under her eyes, Anne knocked on the door with as much gusto as she could. The reminder that Miss Walker, _Ann,_ was inside this very house, at this exact moment, was enough to reduce Anne’s energy levels significantly. The tired ache of her bones disappearing as she watched the servant approach the door.

“Miss Lister for Mrs Sutherland.” Anne announced, the smile on her face warm as she was ushered just inside the door.  
“One moment, Ma’am.” the young man with a thick Scottish accent bowed respectfully before disappearing down the hall.

The anticipation turned to excitement, Anne’s heart began to race as she heard the sound of footsteps getting closer.  
Elizabeth’s hold on the baby in her arms slackened ever-so-slightly at the sight of Miss Lister stood before her. All she could think was that her sister’s drawing was uncanny. Not a hair out of place, Miss Lister looked, for lack of a better term, picture perfect.

“Miss Lister, what a surprise!” Elizabeth’s eyes widened in surprise, her voice however was hushed, as she cradled the sleeping infant in her arms.  
“Mrs Sutherland, I’m terribly sorry to drop by unannounced, but I received your letter and came as soon as I could. Any correspondence I’d have sent would’ve made it here after me anyway. I hope this isn’t a bother?” Anne explained, lowering the sound of her voice as she took a few steps closer, offering her hand.  
“No, not at all!” Elizabeth held the babe with one arm and shook Miss Lister’s hand with the other.  
“Oh, good!” Anne smiled charmingly.  
“I would’ve gotten here sooner, however I wasn’t at home at the time your letter arrived. I was actually supposed to be on my way to Paris, but this is more important.” Anne continued, her tone more formal as she addressed the situation at hand.  
“Your letter didn’t state much, just that you required my help regarding an accident that’s taken place?” Anne tried desperately not to let the lump in throat grow too big that she couldn’t get the following question out.

  
“Yes…” Elizabeth replied, her gaze dropping to the floor as a solemn look overtook her face.  
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, what’s happened?” Anne tried not to fidget, she always fidgeted when she was nervous or impatient.  
“It’s been four days since it happened.” Elizabeth began, she raised her gaze to meet Miss Lister’s before she carried on.  
“Before it happened, I had spoken to Ann previously…” Elizabeth started and winced as the memories came flooding back, “You see, I didn’t want the situation to be sprung upon her, and for her to worry herself endlessly, so I tried to warn her that my husband would ask this of her—” Mrs Sutherland trailed off into silence as she watched Miss Lister pinch the bridge of her nose and exhale a long breath.

“This _thing_ your husband asked of her, of Miss Walker… wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with his cousin, Sir Alexander Mackenzie would it?” Anne asked, jaw twitching as she lost her patience.  
Elizabeth frowned in confusion, “Y-you know?” she stuttered.  
“Unfortunately, yes. I had the pleasure of meeting Captain Sutherland’s mother just as Miss Walker was about to depart Crow Nest. She did mention a potential nuptials between he and Miss Walker, yes.” Anne sighed defeatedly.

A brief silence ensued as Elizabeth watched Miss Lister, seemingly at war with herself.  
“I thought Captain Sutherland had Miss Walker’s best interests at heart, being her brother-in-law and all.” Anne muttered, momentarily forgetting that she was speaking with his wife.  
“Seems I was mistaken, as I was told by Dr. Belcombe that Miss Walker received no medical advice or treatment on her way here, like your husband had suggested he would see happen.” she huffed a frustrated sigh and scrubbed a tired hand over her face.  
“Dr. Belcombe? Ann mentioned him. A friend of yours?” Elizabeth asked, trying not to distress her guest any further than she clearly already was.  
“Yes. A brother of a friend of mine, who specialises in conditions such as Miss Walker’s.” Anne smiled somewhat sadly.  
“I apologise for my husband’s behaviour, Miss Lister.” Elizabeth reached out and squeezed Anne’s arm comfortingly.  
“I told Ann that she needn’t worry about Alexander, that I would protect her. I would never force her to do anything she didn’t want, but that if she could be civil during dinner with him, then that was all I ask.” Elizabeth’s voice caught, as the painful memory returned.

Anne’s brow furrowed in concern as she heard a sniffle come from Mrs Sutherland stood before her.  
“I thought she was doing fine. I thought she was feeling better. If I’d known how bad it was—” Elizabeth brought her hand up to stifle a sob.  
“What happened?” Anne asked gently, panic brewing inside her, the longer she was kept in the dark.  
“I went upstairs to her room and when I opened the door, there was… blood. Everywhere.” Elizabeth closed her eyes as she recalled the moment her heart stopped.

Anne felt her chest tighten and she realised she’d stopped breathing. Inhaling through her nose, she slowly began to regulate her breathing as she encouraged Mrs Sutherland to continue.  
“I asked her what’s happened and she’d said she didn’t know, and then she…” Elizabeth gasped in a breath and clutched the baby in her arms closer to her chest.  
“She, what?” Anne prompted, holding Mrs Sutherland by the shoulders as she lowered her head to catch her fleeting gaze.  
“She fell. Collapsed. She wasn’t responding when I called her named, I screamed for Captain Sutherland and then everything I remember is just a blur. The doctor came. I thought I was going to lose her.” Elizabeth cried quietly, tears streaming down her face.

A tear fell down Anne’s face as she thought of witnessing Ann covered in blood and fainting. The thought alone causing her heart to clench painfully in her chest.  
“She’s okay now though?” Anne asked instantly, not caring if she sounded desperate in that moment.  
“ _Physically._ ” she added before Elizabeth gathered herself enough to reply.  
“Her wounds are healing.” Elizabeth sighed and nodded slowly, “She hasn’t said much since it happened. I can just about get her to eat something and come outside in the garden with me and the children for some fresh air every day.”

Anne nodded repeatedly, clearly in thought as she took all this information in.  
“What made you think to ask me? For help, I mean?” Anne wondered aloud.  
“Ann speaks of you often. Whenever she _does_ talk. Asking if you’ve written…” Elizabeth trailed off.  
Anne’s chest tightened again at the thought of Ann awaiting a letter from her. After they’d agreed not to write each other. It seems Miss Walker had wanted to write Anne as much as she had Miss Walker. The whole agreement was doomed from the start, it seemed.  
“I would’ve written, but—” Anne began before she was cut off by Mrs Sutherland.  
“You’d agreed not to write each other. I know.” she smiled sympathetically.

Anne broke the silence again, this time being more vulnerable than she has been with a - somewhat stranger - in a very long time.  
“Miss Walker means a great deal to me. Her friendship—If anything were to happen to her, I don’t—” words failed Anne in that moment, the mere thought of anything bad happening to Ann enough to stop her heart beating altogether.

“That’s why I wrote you. She cares deeply for you also. I’ll admit, I’ve received letters from our relations in Lightcliffe and such, that spoke of you in the most vulgar of ways. Destroying your character, in the hopes that I’d too agree with their judgement. And I’m not ashamed to say that I took no notice of them. If something were wrong, Ann would’ve wrote me stating so. And the fact that every letter I received from her, only spoke of you in the highest regards, makes me feel so very grateful that she has someone like you in her life. I know how suffocating our aunts can be sometimes, especially when our cousins and uncles chime in with their thoughts and opinions too. I also understand that Ann holds a great deal of guilt for the way she’s treated you too. Due to their words twisting things in her head.” Elizabeth spoke calmly and looked Miss Lister directly in the eye.

  
Anne was stunned to silence, she’d only met Elizabeth the once a long, long time ago. Too long ago for the both of them to remember the other much, but Anne was suddenly regretful of her earlier opinion of Mrs Sutherland. She wasn’t boring. She was kind. Much like her sister, Miss Walker.  
“I will admit that your, _tribe_ of relations haven’t taken to my presence in Miss Walker’s life quite as kindly.” Anne huffed a laugh, “But I appreciate you not listening to them. And making your own mind up upon having met me yourself now. I know many would just take the word of an aunt or uncle or cousin at face value.” she nodded gratefully.

Gone were any sign of tears as a smile spread on Mrs Sutherland’s face.  
“Oh, Miss Lister, I would argue that your exactly what Ann needs in order to get better.” Elizabeth said approvingly, causing an involuntary blush to colour Anne’s cheeks.  
“Speaking of, I don’t imagine Miss Walker is aware of my coming here. May I see her?” Anne asked, not bothering to hide the desperation in her voice once more.  
“Of course! I’ll just go and put little Harrison down in his cot and I’ll take you right up.” Elizabeth smiled as she gestured for Anne to follow her down the hallway, as she cradled the sleeping infant to her chest.  
Heaving a sigh of relief, Elizabeth felt the weight on her shoulders lift and a renewed sense of calm replaced the constant worry she'd been feeling in the past four days.


	5. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the moment we've all been waiting for!

With each step, Anne’s heart skipped a beat, as she followed Mrs Sutherland upstairs toward the bedroom which Miss Walker was staying in.  
“She spends most of her time up here drawing, painting…” Elizabeth said offhandedly as she came to a stop behind a door not too far down the hall.

Anne’s heart stopped still when Elizabeth knocked on the door.  
“Come in.” the sound of Miss Walker’s voice caused Anne’s heart to race rapidly. She hadn’t realised just how much she’d missed her until that moment.  
How foolish she’d thought, thinking she could live on the _memory_ of that _voice_ , of that _face_ , of _her_ , alone.

Elizabeth opened the door and Anne hesitated before taking the step over the threshold, placing her in sight from behind the door.  
Anne’s gaze fell upon Miss Walker, sat with her back to her whilst she masterfully shaded in the sketch before her.  
“Ann, you have a visitor.” Elizabeth spoke softly, so not to startle her sister from whatever she was drawing.  
“Hmm?” came the voice Anne had dreamt of since they’d gone their seperate ways.

If time could’ve slowed down, it happened in that moment.  
Miss Walker glanced up at the mirror before her, seeing her sister’s reflection briefly before the familiar attire of Miss Lister took her full attention.  
Ann spun in the chair so fast, the pencil in her hand slipped and fell, her mouth hung open as tears gradually clouded her vision.

“Would you mind giving us a moment?” Anne asked Mrs Sutherland hoarsely, unable to take her eyes off of Miss Walker. Her own stinging with the onslaught of tears.  
“Of course. I’ll be downstairs with the children, whenever you want to join us, Ann.” Elizabeth smiled affectionately, before closing the door behind her.

The click of the door being closed shut echoed throughout the spacious room. Neither one of them able to take their eyes off the other. Neither one of them able to form words.  
Anne took a hesitant step forward, her hands fidgeting in front of her, trying desperately not to run across the room and take Miss Walker into her arms.  
“Anne.” her name was whispered in a mix of both utter disbelief and sweet surprise, as Miss Walker stood slowly almost as if she were afraid one wrong move and Anne would disappear into thin air.  
“Ann.” Anne took another step toward her, sighing in relief, as if she’d only just been able to take a full lungful of breath. As if the world had righted itself in the very second her eyes laid upon Miss Walker once more.  
“How are you here?” Ann’s voice was wet with tears, fragile and confused.  
“Your sister wrote me.” Anne took a few more steps closer, stopping just shy enough away, letting Ann decide if she wanted her to come any closer. Gods above she hoped so, the short distance between them was already fraying at her nerves drastically.

A sob escaped Ann as she closed the distance, burying her face in Anne’s neck. Arms wrapping themselves around Miss Lister in a vice-like grip.  
Anne’s eyes closed involuntarily as she held Miss Walker against her. Silent tears streaming down her face.  
They stood like that, in each other arms for a while before either of them broke the peaceful quiet of the room.  
Without loosening her grip, Ann rest her chin on Anne’s shoulder, gazing up at her. Her eyes made sure to take in every single tiny detail of the face she adored more than anything else in the world.  
Anne reached up with one hand, the other still firmly holding Miss Walker at the base of her spine, and caressed Ann’s cheek softly. So softly, it were as if she were afraid she’d break.

Anne rest her forehead against Miss Walker’s, and closed her eyes once again, sighing with a smile.  
“I’ve missed you.” Anne admitted in a whisper, not wanting to break the little bubble of pure, unadulterated happiness they now found themselves in.  
Miss Walker didn’t reply with words, instead she reached up on her tiptoes and nudged the tip of her nose against Miss Lister’s gently, before capturing Anne’s lips in a kiss so sweet she felt another tear fall from Anne’s eye.

Once oxygen became a necessity, Anne reached up with both hands and cradled Ann’s face gently, swiping away the remaining tears as she pressed a lingering kiss to Miss Walker’s forehead. She felt Ann’s hold on her waist tighten ever-so-slightly at the action.

“I thought you were going on your travels?” Ann asked, still holding Miss Lister close. She began fretting internally at the thought of Anne leaving now she knew that Ann was alright.  
As if sensing her worry, Anne placed a quick kiss to her cheek, silencing the anxieties instantly.  
“I couldn’t get on the ship. I—” Anne began and looked down, trying to find the right words to explain without upsetting Miss Walker.  
Ann gave her waist a light squeeze, a silent way of encouraging her to continue.  
Anne looked up and smoothed the crease of Miss Walker’s furrowed brow, as she spoke.  
“I was in London, due to leave for the docks in Dover, to make passage to France the next day when I got this awful feeling in my stomach.” she tried to explain, shaking her head at it all coming out wrong.

Ann reached up to stroke Miss Lister’s cheek softly, putting an end to Anne’s slightly frazzled state.  
“I had a feeling that something was wrong. With you.” Anne shook her head, that hadn’t sounded right, “That something had happened.” she amended.  
Ann rest her forehead against Anne’s chest and exhaled a long sigh, her arms winding themselves around Miss Lister’s waist again.

Time passed by and for the first time, Anne found herself not wanting to check her pocket-watch. She didn’t want to break this moment. Didn’t want to return to reality. She wanted to just stay here with Ann in her arms for as long as Miss Walker would let her. The selfish part of her hoped and prayed that one day, that would mean forever.

She was startled out of her own thoughts when she heard Miss Walker’s voice although quiet, she heard the words loud and clear.  
“Thank you.” the words so simple in actuality, held so much more meaning between the two women.  
“Whatever for?” Anne asked, curiousness colouring her tone as she tapped Ann’s forehead twice, imploring the younger woman to look up at her once more.  
“For coming back.” Ann said simply, with a small shrug and a soft smile curving her lips.  
The force of the words took Anne’s breath away momentarily.

Overcome with emotion, Anne looked into Miss Walker’s eyes with nothing but heartfelt affection for her.  
“I will _always_ come back for you.” she promised sincerely, placing another kiss on Ann’s lips.  
Ann returned the kiss with fervour this time, reaching up with one hand to hold Miss Lister close.

“ ** _I love you._** ” Anne whispered those three words she swore to herself she’d never utter again, not after all the heartbreak she’d experienced in this lifetime. This time was different though. She’d nearly lost Ann entirely, and that thought alone was enough for Anneto put a label to her feelings towards Miss Walker. _Love._  
Miss Walker’s eyes widened in surprise before a beaming smile radiated across her face.  
“ ** _I love you too._** ” Ann bit her lip, her gaze landing on Anne’s lips before she captured them again and again.

Anne manoeuvred them toward the bed and sat down, holding onto Ann’s hand as Miss Walker took a seat beside her.  
In the time they’d known each other, Ann had become well-versed in the body language of Miss Anne Lister. So she recognised the look on Anne’s face in that moment to be one of concentration.  
“What’s the matter?” she asked, the words falling out without her permission. She had intended to wait and let Anne speak her mind in her own time, but they’d escaped her lips before she even knew.

Anne took a moment to take in the bandages on Miss Walker’s wrists, her thumb smoothing over the fabric gently. Marian’s words came to her in that moment, of how Miss Walker should return to Shibden with her and whilst the very prospect excited her, Anne was unsure of whether she could take another rejection from Ann.

Anne hadn’t realised she’d started crying until Miss Walker’s concerned face entered her blurred vision.  
“Anne?” Ann’s voice laced with worry echoed throughout the room.  
Sniffling, Anne wiped the traitorous tears on her sleeves before taking hold of both of Miss Walker’s hands. She took a steadying breath before asking the question she tried desperately not to get her hopes up with.  
“Before I left Shibden, to come here and see you… my sister Marian mentioned…” the words stopped and Anne blinked repeatedly as she searched Ann’s face for any sign that she might refuse her again.  
“It’s alright.” Ann tilted her head adorably, patiently waiting she squeezed Anne’s hands, prompting her to continue.

Anne deferred her gaze the their classed hands in her lap, unable to see the look of guilt on Ann’s face once she turns her offer down again.  
“Marian mentioned you… perhaps returning, _with_ me… to Shibden.” she stuttered, her gaze focused solely on her fidgeting knee now.  
Ann sat stunned, she couldn’t believe Anne would even offer the promise of companionship again, not after she’d refused Anne’s proposal, not after she’d hurt Anne so badly. No matter how much, she herself, still dreamt of them marrying and living together.

Anne however took Miss Walker’s silence as a negative and continued to ramble on.  
“She may have mentioned me being more _pleasant_ to be around… after having spent the day in your company.” she rolled her eyes and muttered, as her voice got quieter the longer Ann took to respond.

“I would love to.” Ann breathed out, the smile on her face widening as Anne looked up at her in shock.  
“You—” Anne choked, words failing her. She’d been so sure that Ann would apologise and say no, she never imagined, only in her wildest fantasies of course, that Miss Walker would decide to accept.  
“I actually had something I wanted to ask you.” Ann’s smile turned bashful, as a beautiful rose colour tinted her cheeks.  
“What is it?” Anne asked, unable to stop the smirk from splitting her face. She’d said _yes_.  
Ann squeezed Anne’s hand briefly before going to retrieve her sketchbook. She returned and flicked through until she came across the page she wanted.

A nervous look overtook her then and she struggled to find the words as she hid the book close against her chest.  
“It’s alright.” she echoed Ann’s encouraging words from earlier, taking small victory in the shy smile Ann shot at her.  
Miss Walker unveiled the page, handing the book over to Anne. There in the centre of the page was the most detailed drawing of a ring that Anne had ever seen in her life. The attention to detail was unbelievable. She knew Miss Walker was talented, she’d told her so on many occasions, however this truly took her breath away.

“I was wondering…” Ann began before shaking her head, she wanted this to come out perfectly.  
A memory flashed in her mind’s eye then. One of she and Anne wrapped up in bed together, where Ann admitted that when they were together, she felt like she could take on the world. A smile came to her face then as she looked up into Anne’s eyes once more. A sudden burst of confidence racing through her.

“ _Take on the world with me?_ ” She asked, the words barely a whisper as her eyes flickered between both of Anne’s. The brief moment silence that followed had her wondering if she was clear enough with her intention, if Anne remembered the exact moment she did and understood what Ann was trying to say exactly.

A rush of air flew out of Anne’s lungs as she realised what it is exactly that Ann was asking of her. A breathless laugh left her as she looked back down at the exquisite drawing of the ring, up to the face she was completely and utterly enamoured with.

“Just to be clear…” Anne swallowed, trying to tame her beating heart.  
“I want to marry you, Anne.” the words escaped Ann effortlessly, as if all the worries she’d had before evaporated in that instant. The only thing that mattered was them. Together.  
Anne felt fit to burst from the amount of emotions that were coursing through her.  
“Yes.” she managed to choke out.

The smile that adorned Ann’s face was one Anne had never seen before. Miss Walker was positively glowing. The most gorgeous looking grin Anne had ever seen. It was a good thing she was sitting down, she thought to herself, as she felt her knees go weak from the radiant look on Miss Walker’s face.

Ann moved the sketchbook out of Anne’s hands, tossed it towards the pillows on the bed and took Miss Lister’s face between her hands tenderly.  
Anne bit her lip to stifle her smirk, unsuccessfully she might add, because as soon as Ann’s lips met hers, she couldn’t help but grin infectiously.

 

 _Finally_ , she thought.

 

 

_Finally._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kind comments on this piece. I really appreciate it. I hope this lived up to your expectations, if not... maybe some day you can write up how you wish they reunion would play out. Lord knows we need all the fanfiction we can get if we're to wait a whole year before the show returns.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know in the comments, what you thought?


End file.
